Facebook To Close Down in January

As most of you already know, Facebook has announced that it will close down permanently in January of next year.

Mark and the crew are already busy clearing out the warehouses.

The billions of photographs of people’s breakfasts and other delicious meals will be framed and shipped to soup kitchen throughout the country and the world.  There they will be prominently displayed, just to remind the homeless of what they are missing.

The multi-billion photos of cute little kittens will also be framed, and then shipped to an elderly woman living alone in a one-room apartment in Spokane, Washington.  She insists that her place has wall-room enough for all of them.

Over 7.5 billion wooden plaques that read, “When life knocks you down, you must get back up again,” will be donated to immediate care centers, boxing gymnasiums, and mortuaries.

All selfies with be alphabetized, graded, and then destroyed.

Charcoal duplicates of each will be rendered by Third World artisans.

And so now it is time for me to bid adieu to my many Facebook friends.  I hope to actually meet you someday, although it would probably be uncomfortable for both of us.